Last week I was volunteered to participate in a contest for a Toastmasters Club in Concord. I went to fulfill my duties as ballot counter for this club's International Speech and Table Topics contests. I went not knowing how the two International speeches would impact me.
The first was titled, "Do It Afraid," and was presented by a wonderfully enthusiastic lady who shares my (first) name, Tracy. She was very much afraid to do this. She said at the beginning that failure is trying to please everyone. Interesting. And that how we have to do things for ourselves even if we're afraid. And the reason we DON'T do so many things we want to do, is because of our fears: fear of failure, prejudice, being judged, etc.
Then she told the story of her decision to grow her hair out (which was a big deal considering she is an African American lady and her hair appointments are a four-hour ordeal). When her son and husband saw her new do, they were mortified to say the least. She didn't expect their negative opinions. However, they didn't expect her response either, in which she cried, "Well, I LOVE it!!" Even though that may have been a minor thing, it was a big deal to her.
Well, I can relate. I joined Toastmasters AFRAID. It may have been a minor thing, but it was a big deal to me and it was something I did even though I had fears of rejection, failure, etc. I realize that fear is going to precede anything worth doing. The devil does love to inject that emotion in us right before we do something worthwhile. We can't let is stop us though. We HAVE to do it afraid! Stand in the face of fear. That's what courage is, after all (which is what the name "Tracy" actually means: "courageous").
Then the second speech was by a guy named Rolando who is a massage therapist. His speech was titled, "To Your Health" and he talked about his theories of the causes of fibromyalgia. Being a massage therapist, he gets a lot of people (mostly women) who come in with this disease of the muscles. He started asking them questions and realized that about 95% of them had either gone through menopause or had a hysterectomy. His theory is that fibromyalgia is caused by hormone imbalance.
Then he heard someone say that women who had this were women who did not have an outlet for their creativity. He began to ponder this and realized that, in nature, females' main purpose is to create life. Therefore, when their hormones get out of balance and they are not being "creative" in whatever way that is (in drawing, art, etc.), then their muscles tense. His message was that we need to REST and BE CREATIVE.
Oh yeah! I have been on a "quest for rest" -- God's rest, that is. And an outlet for some kind of creativity. However, I realized tonight that perhaps I am not being creative because of FEAR and because I'm not being creative, perhaps what I have thought was arthritis may actually be fibromyalgia. Since I have had a hysterectomy and PCOS and my mom has it, I may be prone to it. So I need to find rest and creativity for a whole lot of reasons, but this reason outweighs them all.
I truly believe God was speaking to me tonight through two Toastmasters who decided to participate in a speech contest. I've found that He does speak in the most unusual ways. Who knew I would go to count ballots at a contest and come away hearing from the Almighty?
