STRESSED OUT!!!!

Ever since Sunday I have been crying off and on. Ever since I returned to work I have been so stressed out. I am realizing that I do not know how to deal with stress. That is why it comes out in ailments in my body because I push it inside because I don't know how to deal with it all.

Now I find out that the blog I wrote never got published. I was just skipped over like I'm not that important. I know that old lie that I don't matter and that I'm not good enough. And that's exactly how I feel right now. I also have felt that way when parents ignore my statements to them to pay their bill. But even though I know it's a lie, I don't know how else to feel. I still feel defeated and worn out.

It's all too much. I kept saying this morning that I give up, I can't do it, blah, blah, blah. Yes, Diann did write a letter to help the parents "communicate" with me, after I talked to her about my problem with them. But it's one thing after another, it seems. I come home and once again forgot to take the trash can to the curb before the trash truck came (and they NEVER come at the same time). Kristin also forgets to take the trash out and basically "forgets" to even clean up when it's her turn.

And then there's Christmas coming up in three weeks and I have no money because I just had to take four days off of work unpaid and had to spend $600+ on Opie because he has diabetes. Not to mention the medical bills that just keep piling up and up and up. If I don't get assistance with the gall bladder surgery, I'm getting ready to have a HUGE medical bill that I will never be able to pay off.

All of this makes me want to curl up in a ball in my room and never come out.